Poetic License: An Ode to Holden Caulfield
by floacism
Summary: Alternate Ending to 6.09 Poetic License: An Ode to Holden Caulfield. This one shot fic cuts the entire season 6 break up of the rest of the season. There's only so much emotional up and down emo-ness between Shawn and Angela I could take.


**Note**: Here is the alternate ending of "Poetic License: An Ode to Holden Caulfield" that ends the Shawn/Angela break up arc of season 6. This episode was by far the climax of the storyline, and if anything, I found it appropriate to end it here, assuming everything after did not happen.

The unnecessary prolonging of this arc starts here when we find out that Shawn took the easy way out and bluff, telling Angela he wrote the poem before they broke up as to avoid confronting his true his feelings, had me incredibly frustrated. The beginning of their conversation was the perfect time to do this.

Here, in this version, Angela is able to continue before Shawn interrupts her when they are talking about the poem. Shawn has no choice now to avoid telling her how he feels. The look on Angela's face when he lied and told her he wrote it 'a long time ago, way before we broke up' looked as if she was about to cry, stunned and it actually made me angry. While this made for an interesting twist, I don't think I could take loneliness and hurt, from both characters on top of the flip flopping from Shawn insisting he only had friendly feelings for her at the finale, again for the rest of the season and entering the beginning of season 7.

Inspiration for this story was after watching the episode again, in addition to recalling Bookworm's fanfic of a different ending to Cutting the Cord (it's called "Joining The Cord". I highly recommend it!)

* * *

Shawn abruptly rose to his feet when he saw Angela come toward him, holding her books across her chest. They called for one another's name in unison.

With Cory's encouragement, feeling thoughtful and a still little scared, Angela was given newfound confidence to finally talk to Shawn again.

"Go head."

"You sure? You're not gonna...hit me again are you?"

Angela couldn't help but laugh nervously, which eased the initially tension a bit. "Sorry I did that".

"No its, cool I probably deserved it."

"You're probably right."

If only Cory wasn't so stubborn to stay out of his business, Angela would of never heard the poem and overhear his confrontation with him about it. But as frustrating as the incident was, Cory indirectly did something that Shawn himself couldn't do; he gave him the chance to tell Angela how he really feels.

And here he was now, alone hiding by the ledge of the fireplace, writing. Reflecting. Angela and Topanga had overheard him pouring out his heart to Cory. He'll never forget the look on her face. She threw her arms in the air, as if she were silently asking him 'Are you _serious?_' The nerve of him.

Then she slapped him. _Hard_.

A simple slap on the face he now realized wasn't nearly enough punishment to all of the things he had done to her. Shawn got off easy, considering his behavior the past few months.

He had pretended to not love her anymore. He had pretended to just wanting be her "friend". He left her so suddenly, without warning. He didn't make any hesitation before he invited a new girl into his dorm room. After he had been together with Angela for more than a year and shared such a close bond that he had not developed with anyone else before than – not even Cory, he somehow still found a way to ruin it all. Shawn had chased after Angela because he wanted to be with her more than anybody in this world. He put his heart on the line for a second time, and it paid off, ironically due to it being Cory's who pushed him one more time.

Shawn had something great now—he fell in love for the first time and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world. But his initial fear came back to haunt him in such a cruel way. Before reflecting, Shawn never took in consideration how Angela must have felt. If she never spoke to him again, he would understand, as much as it would hurt him to not be able talk to her anymore.

Not being a stranger to denial, Shawn did a pretty good job ignoring the nagging words in his brain and in his heart after he broke up with Angela those first few weeks. What the hell were you thinking, breaking up with _Angela? _Even when he tried to preoccupy his mind by speaking to other random mildly attractive girls at the campus, bringing them over to his dorm, hanging out with the guys and lounging at sleazy restaurants, he was still in love with only one girl and that was Angela Moore, no doubt about it.

But Shawn didn't want to believe that. He was in college now; guys his age were still behaving the way he used to. For a moment there, he thought that's what he wanted again. He didn't want to believe that he still had wanted what 'Cory and Topanga have' like in high school anymore; he didn't want be known as what his college friends called Cory, the 'major'. Especially given his notorious past reputation as a player; what would they say about what's become of him? Shawn Hunter, the guy who used to have 6 dates in one weekend is now whipped by some girl he fell in love with just by finding her purse.

_Well Cory not everybody's like you, you know? Not everybody spends the rest of their life with one girlfriend._

What a hypocritical thing to say.

_Look Angela, I want to be with you more than anybody in this entire world. Why can't we be Cory and Topanga?_

But it was too late by than. What nerve would it be for him to actually tell Angela he wanted to be with her again? Each time he thought about doing so, he was reminded dreadfully – what if she said no? After the altercation earlier at the poetry reading, Shawn debated on whether if it would be safe to pursue Angela in her own dorm room to talk to her about it, or to just stay away. Of course, in Shawn like fashion, he opted for the latter. It was still best to write down how he felt instead. At this point, he wondered if he was developing a mentality of cowardice.

_Never mind Cory, I deserved what I got._

And yet again, here, Angela had come to him first, when she had no reason to. It's a wonder what she still saw in me, Shawn had thought. He almost hoped that reconciliation will take place and all the loneliness and pain would finally go away. But a strong feeling in his gut told him absolutely not—_you don't deserve such a good, convenient ending with Angela. She's really here to tell you off._

Shawn started before she could say anything, for fear of words he was too scared to hear.

"Look, I've been going over these words, in my head, over and over again cause I want to say this right."

"Oh just, just take your time." Angela patted his knee reassuringly. She looked so sweet and caring right there. Shawn could feel his nerves lessen, but he was still tense. He remembered the words he had just written down.

"...we used to talk. I mean, really talk. I miss that."

"I miss it too." She didn't seem angry at all, far more calm than he would have been, if put in the same situation. Shawn couldn't help but wonder where this was going. But he had to keep on going, to get everything out. Angela deserved the decency to be given his complete honesty, that much he could give her right now.

"Things just got weird. I mean, I-I got weird. But I don't ever want us to stop talking. I couldn't stand that."

"Oh, neither could I," she said warmly. "And when I heard that poem—"

Now you have your chance. Let Angela know that you're still in love with her. His readiness was never at ease. Shawn couldn't get himself to say those words out loud. Quick, bluff. "Yeah! The poem, t-that's what I wanted to talk to you about—"

"It was the most beautiful thing I ever heard Shawn," she lifted her arm to stroke his face with the back of her hand. She looked at him lovingly.

"Angela, I wrote that poem—"

"For me, I know, I heard." Angela laughed nervously, recalling the incident that had taken place only a few minutes ago.

"But Angela..."

Shawn was debating whether there was room for him to lie and say he wrote it long before they broke up. He was for sure she didn't love him anymore, but the way she looked right there, waiting, he couldn't just lie to her, not again. Shawn had already done enough of that, and he couldn't turn back now. Its far too late for that. Not now when she was here, willing to talk to him again, with such a soft look in her eyes.

Angela gently took Shawn's book from the space between them on the ledge and rested it on her lap, and looked down at it lovingly, as if it were a sacred piece of art. "You could have just given it to me, Shawn. I would have accepted it."

He was completely stuck, and there was no way of getting around it.

"I-I, didn't want you to get confused. I mean, about confused about me."

"Shawn, to be frank, I still don't know what it means…it didn't really make any sense." she giggled, hoping it didn't come off as an insult. It was such an eloquent, beautifully written poem, but the exact words she hadn't understood at all.

"It means that your mere existence takes my breath away." he blurted out without thinking.

Angela stood there stunned. "What?" she croaked.

His lips seemed to be replacing the pen, his once unspoken feelings seemed to flow out of his mouth without a moment's hesitation. Everything he ever thought about Angela came pouring out like ink, as if she herself were the piece of paper he wrote on.

"You didn't know it, but…sometimes—sometimes I stay in my room by myself, when absolutely no one's around, and I write about how I feel about you. I think about you all the time. I miss you…I miss the way you made me feel. I miss the way I could tell you things that nobody else understands, not even Cory."

Though he was stuttering through his words, Shawn couldn't stop talking now. But Angela was listening to every word. Sensing that she was still intent on hearing his whole story, he continued.

"I just was too scared to tell you that I never wanted to take a break with you in the first place because, y-you might have rejected me. And, I thought if I kept everything to myself, it would have put my heart at ease than to hear you say … you didn't want to be with me anymore,"

Shawn had now confessed everything, but Angela was still there, waiting. This was the part he wanted to address the least. His weird behavior the first day of college. He recalled how he was so insistent on 'meeting new people'. What a stupid thing to do, Shawn though. "That day I said I wanted to meet new people? That was a fluke. I don't even know why I did that. You know...um, that girl that introduced herself to us at freshmen orientation?"

"Cameron?"

Shit. Angela had even remembered her name! _I barely remembered her name_, Shawn though.

God, look what he had done. He suddenly forgot he had a girlfriend because he saw some alright looking blonde, who in reality couldn't hold a candle next to Angela on her worst day, because he saw someone _new _he couldn't have a chat with. And here Cory and Topanga were, making out on the couch.

_Hey hey hey! Hello! We're supposed to meet new people, remember? _

Shawn ended up getting what he wanted at the time; space and freedom. A break from his ideal relationship that was Cory and Topanga's.

He remembered the look she gave him afterward. Shawn just figured that Angela was just being a drama queen. _Drama Queen? _Look who's talking. There was always something going on with Shawn. Whether he was joining a cult or running away from Mr. Turner's because he felt he wasn't being loved enough, there was always something going on with Shawn.

"You saw a pretty girl Shawn, I understand, so you were distracted, I guess. I mean, I know that you were like that before, you met me so..." she drifted off with her words lingering in the air. Angela and Cory had him figured out so easily, it was almost like he was completely transparent.

I broke up with Angela just so I can pretend I was back in high school again.

"I guess it was my fault too. I should of just ignored the whole thing." Angela continued. "How can you say that? How can you say it was your fault?" Shawn almost shouted at her in frustration. She was in no position feel remorse or regret.

"My sarcastic side kind of got in the way. If I just had kept quiet about the whole stupid thing...we would have still been together, probably on the couch making out like we used to do 24/7 back in high school," she laughed, but Angela didn't try to suppress the bitter tone in her voice. They could have avoided all this drama if she hadn't let her abash part of her personality get the best of her.

_What does that mean? Shawn had looked at her, completely dumbfounded. Well you want to meet new people and...I'm not new people so, what do you want it to mean? _

Any other girl would have just accepted such a 'mistake' because it was Shawn she was dating. A girl would be crazy to jeopardize that. But not Angela. Angela didn't hold back her attitude or bluntness.

In some sort of twisted way though, maybe it was actually good for them, she thought for a moment. After all, what couple doesn't go through ups and downs? Sadness? Depression? Heartbreak? It happens, and its surely going to happen when you're in a relationship with Shawn Hunter. Even the seemingly perfect Cory and Topanga had their relapses. To think they were immune to this was naïve of both of them.

Shawn hesitated at the proposition. No, Angela wasn't wrong. Blame was always supposed to be solely reserved for him. But admittedly, it did open the gate just a nudge for him seek the opportunity for a little more space between them. "Meet new people". That's what they came here for, right? See what else is out there, discover the new open opportunities that were there for them. Angela had let Shawn free to do so because if he needed to find himself, than he should, and not stay with Angela just because he would feel sorry for her. Shawn hadn't met anyone like Angela before, than, and never would.

"No, you had every right to upset with me. And…I _love _your honesty," And it was true. Shawn couldn't suppress his confident smirk, which made Angela smile back. It was good to know he still had a way with words to make her light up again.

"You do? Yeah well, I'm not like all those other girls you dated before," she bragged in a matter of fact tone. Shawn faked hurt, while he pretended to be taken back. "Angela, I _always _dated girls who were into Vivaldi and classic literature," They both laughed. Angela remembered how in tune with culture she had gotten Shawn to be when he told her he found her purse.

"You know, I still listen to 'Four Seasons' every now and then. It helps me relax when I'm feeling kind of blue," Shawn added.

"It does?" she asked, quietly. Angela had always done the same thing. It was amazing, how still, even during their time apart they were both so much alike. This time, Shawn reached out to gentle release her hands from his notebook to hold her hand, which caused her to look down at her lap, immediately avoiding eye contact. She suddenly felt embarrassed just to be touching him again, like it was the first time.

They stayed that way for awhile, silently, but this time there was not an ounce of awkwardness between them. Instead, there was a comforting feeling that sooth them both. It was such a light, calm feeling between the air. The warmth from the fireplace was almost the embodiment for where they were right now in their relationship.

Despite the shyness that still lurked in the pit of her stomach, Angela managed to slide herself over to sit closer to Shawn, where they were now next to one another shoulder to shoulder, still reaching out with her free arm to hug his book tightly toward her abdomen. She felt safe now, and she wanted to feel him next to her again. The sweet gesture allowed Shawn to lean in and put his arm around her while he absentmindedly rubbed her upper arm. Angela rested her head on his shoulder now, his dark brown locks briefly brushing across her face. Neither spoke while they both gazed toward nothing. Shawn and Angela couldn't remember the last time they sat so intimately. It was such a nice, nice feeling.

After what it felt like a few minutes, Shawn broke the silence and turned to her.

"Do you wanna…go get ice cream or something?"

Angela smiled at what was such a Shawn thing to say. "I'd love to," she paused.

"So uh…boyfriend and girlfriend?" he responded, pointing to himself and than toward her, which came out more of a question than a statement. Angela nodded in approval. She rose from the ledge where she was seated and picked up her things, but not before she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Shawn grinned. They walked together back to the lounge, tightly holding hands. Before they could open the door though, a curly headed figure startled the reunited couple.

"HELLO SHAWN AND ANGELA!!"

Cory grabbed them both in a giant hug without warning. Of course he had been watching all this time. The wait for Angela back at his dorm was killing him. He got almost as big of a hug in return from the two, but more so out of obligation. For Shawn, it was hard to get mad at his best friend at this point. It was just his nature.

"You were listening this whole time weren't you Cory?" Shawn waited.

"Shawnie!" Cory spoke up loudly in a sing-song voice, his arms open like the showman he was. "How could ya say such a thing? I mean, why would I – me— Cory, eavesdrop on my best friend's conversation with his girlfriend in what is clearly a personal matter between two people that I have no business in listening to?"

"You don't have to pretend Cor."

Once he was given the permission to show his excitement that his best friend was back with Angela, Cory applauded as he jumped and down giddily. He felt like he was about to burst. The break up took a toll on him as well.

"YAY!"

The whole nightmare was over.

Cory felt like he was floating on the clouds, it was almost unreal. Shawn and Angela's break up hurt like hell. He knew how much Shawn wanted love in his life like he did. He had the confident determination to put Shawn together with 'the purse girl' once he learned that it turned out to be Angela's, and not Beth, and he was determined that they'd get back together. He knew when Shawn told him the news of their break up to look for 'what else was out there' was a bunch of crap, and he wouldn't have any of it "no matter happens".

The longer time had them apart the nuttier he felt inside, but thankfully there's no need to complain at this moment. Cory liked to have thought it was him that brought them back together, and it was the best feeling in the world.

"We're going to go out for ice cream. Don't follow us."

"Oh you go ahead, you two…lovebirds." He gushed. Shawn released his hands from Angela's to wrap them around her shoulder as they exited the door. Cory had waited calmly after they left, taking it all in, walking back and forth. It wasn't too long though, before his still energetic state had him bust through the door to tell Topanga the good news. But it looks like she had figured it out just than before he did. In fact, she was already there, waiting for him to enter the main lounge room.

"TO-PANG-A!"

"CORY!"

They both knew what one another were thinking, so without saying another word they ran to embrace in a big hug. "Oh yay!" Cory shouted again for a second. They rocked back in forth before letting go.

"I'm so happy," Topanga began with almost in a whisper. She had seen them walk past her, hand in hand, smiling so big that she couldn't remember when was the last time either of them looked so..._content_. Unlike Cory, she granted them their privacy by not making any remarks, but just a smile. All that was left to do was to wait for Cory to jump out of no where to rejoice, and like clockwork, he did.

"Me too," Cory nodded.

Distancing from their initial plans on seeing a movie that night, Cory and Topanga instead opted to go back to their dorm rooms to rest soundly, knowing that their best friends, like Cory knew, ended up together in the end. Walking to their new destination as they walked through the hallway, a sudden remembrance prompted him to ask his girlfriend about something he put off to talk to Angela. "Topanga?"

"Yes Cory?"

"Do you want to hear a poem that I wrote for you?" Cory continued. Shawn's writing had really got him thinking about his own potential in poetry. Before she could answer, he continued. "Okay. This one's called 'Frustration'…" Cory paused, and then stopped in his tracks.

"...commmme onnnnn TOPANNNGGGAAAAAAA!!!" he shouted so loudly she feared he had woken up everyone in the whole entire building. Remaining in his frozen position with his arms in a pleading stance, Topanga paused before she realized Cory was actually finished. She gave him a curious look. "That's it?"

"Yeah, do you like it?"

"That's…nice, dear."

* * *

It looks like everything's finally back to normal, Shawn thought. After going out to eat, which wasn't long, they were now back in his dorm. Its been way too long since he felt Angela next to him again. As they laid down, shifting every now and than, comfortably under the covers, they made out on the bed for close to what must have been 10 minutes straight. Rudely interrupted, Cory entered the room, ignoring the rubber band on the door.

"Heyyyy!" Cory shouted, announcing his arrival with open arms. "Cory, I'm busy." Shawn pulled his lips away, annoyed.

"Yes yes, I know my Shawn. But I just wanted to let you know, I've been writing some stuff too and I'd like you hear some of my poetry,"

"Please, not now." Protesting was pretty useless though; he knew Cory would start regardless of what he said. Angela, still by Shawn's side snuggled up with Shawn, rose up a little to closer listen to Cory's poem.

"Okay, this one's called 'Feeny'…"

The End.


End file.
